gleetar: Still Celebrating Easter?

gleetar: Still Celebrating Easter?:        Hello World! how was the Easter celebrations? A lot of Easter bunnies  and eggs I presume?                I didn't want to writ...

Still Celebrating Easter?

       Hello World! how was the Easter celebrations? A lot of Easter bunnies  and eggs I presume?
       
       I didn't want to write a post during the Easter period like many other celebrations, we tend to forget what the real essence of what is been remembered. Its like fasting or going to church on Sundays; we want to be holy on those days. We want to look religious and do no wrong but what about Mondays or Wednesdays or days when we are not fasting?
The truth of the matter is God wants us to live a fasted life, He wants us to be careful of what we eat, we wants us to live a life everyday as if we are fasting or Sunday is everyday!
       The Easter story, yes we know Jesus Christ came to the earth, God in the flesh. While He walked on the earth he did many miracles, healed the sick, opened blind eyes, cleansed the leprous, made whole those possessed by demons and so many other things and when death came, He died and after three days He rose from the dead by the power of God. Why did He do it? Why did he see the need? Some people may feel I live a pretty good life without one good Samaritan coming to die for me and hearing constantly I need to accept him to live a meaningful life, do I really have to?
      Let's rewind back to creation, God made us, made man in His image and likeness. In other words to be made in the image and likeness of God means you carry what God carries. Nobody should be able to tell you, you are not pretty enough or handsome enough; the book of Psalms 139:14 tell you who you really are.
       God created man; Spirit first because God is a Spirit and enjoys fellowship with our spirit, then Soul which I believe was dead before the fruit was eaten then Body. Isn't it funny how the devil convinced the woman to eat from the Tree of Knowledge and not the Tree of Life which was also in the garden. When the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge was eaten, the soul became alive and the spirit died. The original order became reversed, now the senses where alert, they knew they were naked, they felt shame.( I would like to state here when you are communing with God your senses are dead, you walk by faith and not by sight that's why before the fall their senses were dead they walked in faith, after the fall, their senses became heightened walking by what they saw hence had to cover up themselves. In the book of Hebrews 11: 6 for without Faith, its impossible to please God....". so in that state, they could not please God)
        The devil specialises in giving people counterfeits or giving them what is already theirs but because of ignorance and emotions take it and get into trouble. When God created man, man was already a god, so why would eating a fruit make him any more a god than what he was already? Remember, God gave man dominion, authority over all His creation but by disobedience and ignorance they lost that. Now, man was cast into the devil's playing ground, this world. Controlled by emotions, doing things because just because it felt right and no more enjoying that communion and direction with and from God.
      The ministry of the devil is to Steal, Kill and Destroy. If he isn't stealing, he is killing and if he isn't  killing he is destroying. Now we may want to deny that the devil exists but just take a moment and turn on the news and just 5 minutes, you can see the horror of things happening, the wars, deaths, sickness, oppression, evils all around. Now, if there is so much evil, there has to be a corresponding good and that's where God comes in again.
       The ministry of Jesus is a Life ministry John 10:10. And how can you be immuned from the horrors of this earth? be in the camp of God  and how can we be in God's camp? through Jesus Christ. Now, the devil been the god of this world didn't understand why God will send Jesus Christ, he is not as smart as you think. He thought the death of Jesus on the Cross was the end, he didn't have a clue; the book of Colosians 2:15 tells us what Jesus did to the devil and his agents after the Cross
        Blood for Blood; Jesus shed blood from his body during the whipping, it wasn't for fun. God doesn't do anything for fun, He calculates every step. That blood was going to take the place of the blood bulls and rams that was used for the atonement of sins. That blood doesn't have to be renewed, that blood speaks. Remember when Cain killed his brother, the blood of Abel cried to God. The blood of Jesus speaks friend! When a man is covered with the blood of Jesus, how can an enemy that was disgraced and humiliated by the owner of that blood do anything to that man?
        That blood has life, the life of a man is in the blood. When blood leaves, life follows. The supernatural is more real than the physical. That blood now gives to man what Adam had originally had but lost. To live in this world you need the backing of God, you need the power of God to continue. Do not think for a second your alarm clock wakes you up, if you think so then ask those who died in their sleep and their alarm clocks did a whole lot of singing. Every waking day is a blessing and say learn to be grateful for the chance to see a new day.
     The blood came out from a whipped body and that body was whipped for our healing, no more molestation from sickness or diseases; 1st Peter 2:24. In Christ, you are covered all round.
      So the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ isn't just an Easter story but a call to realise certain things: the love of God for man, the need for man to realise what is already his, to live a life of dominion and power over  a defeated foe who truly hates man.
       How does this life begin? by accepting Jesus into your life. A simple prayer, a new beginning.

"Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God. You came to the earth in flesh, died for my sins and after 3 days, you rose from the dead. Forgive my sins, wash them with your blood and come into my life. Fill me with your spirit and show and teach me the ways of God my Father"
        After this prayer, go to a book store and buy a Bible, read not only reading meditate and pray everyday.
        Let Easter be what we celebrate every day in our lives. God bless!
 

Happy Weekend!

       Good morning World! happy weekend! In the mist of all the celebrations and holiday, let's not forget the reason for the season and its all about Jesus Christ; His love for us, the cross and the sacrifice He made for us. So for whatever its worth, take out time to reflect on your time spent here on earth this weekend, where you are, where you have started from and where you are going to.
      This post was supposed to be on the "Throwback Thursday" but I had some issues with my modem but thank God its better now. Enjoy, remain blessed and take charge!

Change Lanes

         "God!!! You said in your words 'ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened"I have been asking, seeking and knocking since the beginning of this year and You haven't done anything I have asked for.
"God oh! At the beginning of this year, I wrote what I wanted you to do for me. The year is almost over, the list is still untouched". I was in church, when someone gave a testimony that her too wrote a list at the beginning of the year and before June, You had done everything on her list.
God! Are you now a respecter of persons? Didn't you say 'what You do for one, You will do for another'? God! I am holding you to that list, if the year runs out without my answers, then You owe me big time!
        "Jesus! You said 'ask anything in my name, that would I do' I asked for rest, peace and deliverance". All my life, I have been struggling, day after day am in agony. Instead, I see my mates ahead of me. I see them enjoying and am here getting tossed around by life. Is this what I asked for? You have given stone for bread and a serpent for water? God! Are you now a man that you lie? Have you called me to play with me or crush my spirit? Have you seen me in a witch doctor's shrine? So why don't you answer me. God I am tired!
         Holy Spirit! Where are you? Isn't it written that 'You are my helper, that I wouldn't be left comfortless.' From the start of this year, have you helped me at all? Everything was by struggle, or are the forces of darkness stronger? Is there something bigger than God? Holy Spirit, tell God to prove Himself or else we are over! The year is coming to an end. I want my own testimony ummmh!
        "Is there no one that would worship me for who I am? Is there no one that loves me enough to trust me?" "Is there no one that would praise me?" "Is there no one that can give me what I cant give myself? Do they know how I fight for them and keep them from destruction?" Do they know how many times the devil has desired them but I say 'no'. Is this the thanks I get? "Where is the thanksgiving?"Where are the tokens of thanks? "Where is the incense of thanksgiving?" Where are my praises? Is there no one to thank me for my mercies, forgetting it is by my mercies they are not consumed? They only come when they need me, forget me when the road is smooth and get angry when I don't answer them when they want it, ignorant of the fact that I am preparing something greater! Oh my people perish because of lack of knowledge!"
         We sleep, we wake up, that is more than enough to be thankful. God may not come when you want Him to but He is always on time. "You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, You hold in your hands. You never left my side, though my heart is torn, I will  praise you in the storm"  A line from the song title Praise You In The Storm by Casting Crowns.
        Despite the situation, despite the trials, the waiting, pain and tears....Praise! When you learn to praise despite the 'despites' God will honour you.
         I dare you to say 'thank you God' everyday till the end of the year just for been alive. Change lanes; be thankful!

Blessed Tuesday!

            Good Morning World! happy weekend I hope, then glory be to God but if it was with trials and struggles, glory be to God still. You are alive and God is very much aware of the situation and will see you through, you just have to hold on and believe. Where there is life there is certainly hope my friends!
            For today, wanted to share a story I wrote for a regional short story competition, it wasn't picked so I just thought it okay to share it with you. The title of the story is "MO TI DELE"; its Yoruba, a Nigerian Language meaning  "I Have Gotten Home."
           I will really appreciate comments and feedbacks about this blog, although some friends have told me they had some issues posting comments. However, this is my email address smarrsh@gmail.com. Thanks and God bless!
           Enjoy!

                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Mo Ti Dele

          “Knock, knock, anybody there? “Ngozi said in a high pitched voice as she opens the door to my study. Her smile can light up a room full of darkness, her eyes as bright like shinning stars, her skin, like ebony with porcelain finesse. Her built is what the gods would be jealous of and most importantly a heart of gold. You see, Ngozi is my wife of three years and within this very short time of marital journey, I have been faced with one of the very hardest of challenges a newly married husband could ever face.

           It all started one late night evening; it was an unusually stormy weather that day, as if Mother Nature was trying to tell me of the storm that was really coming my way. Leaves were blown off their branches; some were plucked from their roots making makeshift road blocks which made driving a little bit difficult. It was definitely a sigh of relief when I got home. I opened the door, the lights to the living room were switched off which was odd been it was just some minutes past 7:30pm. I called out to my wife and silence was the only response. I began to get apprehensive but on careful observation, I heard sobbing and it was coming from the dinning room. As I got closer, it got louder and louder. It was coming from Ngozi; I called out to her in horror. “Ngozi! What is the matter?” but it seems as soon as she saw me, the sobbing turned into full blown crying. It seemed I was some kind of catalyst. “Ade please forgive me” she said as she fell on her knees. I was more confused than shocked. “Forgive you?” I muttered, still lost in comprehension. “Ade, please forgive me” she said it again, this time, it was more agonizing then the first “what are you taking about, Ngozi? I asked again. She placed her right hand over her mouth and her other hand on her stomach and bowed to the ground still on her knees as she wept.                                                                                      

               I stood motionless for about a minute just looking at her as she wept and groaned. I moved toward her, held her by her arms and shook her almost violently asking her to tell me what she was trying to tell me. That didn't  faze her, instead she cried even louder not from physical pain but from overwhelming guilt, I could see it in her eyes that something was horribly wrong. I held her close trying to console her but that did little to ease any pain she was feeling. Then all of a sudden, there was a moment of silence, which was now more worrisome because I wondered what was coming next. “I have sinned against you Ade” she said while I still held her close. “What did you do? “I asked her. “I think I slept with Sani” in a terrified voice.   

          “You think”? By this time, I had pulled away from her. “You think”? I asked her again. I literally started feeling dizzy. I pulled out a dinning chair and sat down, put my hands over my head and started sobbing.  For about five minutes, we were both sobbing, so many thoughts racing through my head; why is she telling me now? Does she want to own up because he is blackmailing her? Is it the guilt? Is Michael mine? Then I got up to my feet like a robot and asked her if I was the father of our son, Michael. To which she responded in a terrified tone “I do not know”.  “How could you do this to me, to us Ngozi?” I yelled as I tried to make sense of what was happening. My world was falling apart right before my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop the step wise crumbling. What did she mean by saying “she thought she slept with Sani?” Sani was my best friend, not only my best friend but my best man on my wedding day. He was more than a brother to me or that’s what I thought. She was looking confused almost trying to think up what to say, “I “, “I”,”I” she said. “Yes ““yes” I responded.   

            “Before anything leaves your mouth, be sure you are telling me the truth” I told her. She showed agreement by quick successions of nodes of the head. She explained that about 3 weeks prior to our wedding day, we had an argument. She went to meet Sani to talk some sense into me. In the process of narrating the whole story to him, she became emotional and he tried to comfort her. He offered her some alcohol and the next thing she knew was she woke up the next day in his bedroom.

         In total amazement, I looked at her and started walking towards the door wanting to run away as fast as I could “Daddy” Michael said, his word was like sending bolts of electricity down my spine because I just froze I didn't know he had been sitting on the stairs all this while. I turned and walked towards the stairs, as I reached the foot of the stairs, he stretched out his hands towards me wanting me to pick him up and I just stood there looking and wondering about everything I just heard my wife say. His expectation turned into disappointment as he returned his outstretched arms. Ngozi came from behind me, walked towards him and picked him up. As she took him up he kept on looking at me as they both faded into the darkness.                                                         

          I left the house, got into my car and just sat there sobbing like a baby. The storm was loosing its tempo so I just kept on driving with no idea where I was going to. I drove throughout the night, by morning I realized I was in the outskirts of the state in a remote town. My cell phone was out of coverage which was a relief; I just wanted time to myself. I had enough money to lodge in a local motel. When I got in, it was nothing fancy just the basic things needed to get through the day, a sharp contrast to the kind of life I have had the privilege to live all my life. I was blessed with well to do parents, nice cars, houses, vacations and never lacked for what money could buy.

            I laid down on the bed which was painfully soft and I managed to sleep but it was shorted lived as I was awoken by the shouts of a woman and the cry of a child. I managed to get up and looked out through the window, it seemed like the woman was beating the child for something wrong he did and from the stories she was telling onlookers, the ones who cared to stand and listen was that the money he brought back didn't correspond to the worth of goods she gave him to sell; a tray of ground nuts laid close by.  While she spoke, she gave him more slaps, I just shrieked and looked on. The child couldn't be more than nine years old and I wondered how much money this woman expects this child should bring from selling ground nuts that look so unappealing to the eyes. I returned back to bed thinking about my own life and all the blows it had received. I couldn't sleep through the night, I just tossed and turned and thought of Sani. I wondered how he could do this to me, I thought of killing him but how? I was filled with so much hatred and rage.

             When I woke up, I decided to take a walk just to clear my head. As I walked on, I saw a kiosk by the side a little distance away from the road so I decided to sit by it and have a drink of water. It wasn't up to ten minutes when I noticed a child with a tray of ground nuts walking by, as he hawked on the busy road side, a motorbike passed by so close by him that it brushed him and he fell into the gutter. Everything on that tray fell to the ground. The individual riding the motorcycle didn't even wait, he just sped off. The boy tried to help himself out of the gutter and he was visibly hurt. So I walked over and helped him out. “Uncle, thank you” he said with a cracked smile which soon turned to crying after he looked at the tray and the groundnut all over the floor and gutter. “Aunty will beat me” “aunty will beat me” he continually said. I then recalled this was the kid that received those series of slaps from a woman outside the motel I stayed. I tried to calm him down and took him to the kiosk, bought some water for him to wash up, some snacks and a bottle of alcohol to clean the wounds he sustained from the fall.

           “What is your name” I asked him. “Timothy, uncle” he said. “That was my father’s name; he died of malaria 2 years ago”. I am so sorry to hear that. “What about your mummy?” I asked. “I never knew her; daddy said she left when I was born”. So who do you live with? I asked. “My step mummy, I call her aunty because she said I shouldn't call her mummy” I felt a sense of sadness after asking all these questions because of the kind of answers I was getting but this little child didn't show any sign of sadness but strength and a certain optimism things will better from within that challenged me. “Do you still go to school?”  I asked because he spoke with good English not what I was expecting from a kid that sold ground nuts on a daily basis. “No uncle, I had to leave school so I can get more money, aunty said there was no money for me to go to school that I should leave so that there will be enough to send my siblings to school. The situation was just painful to my heart.

              This was a child without his parents, forced to drop out of school and sell ground nuts to carve out some kind of living. I felt a little bit embittered that a little boy has been through all this hardships in his life. I spent the better part of the day chatting with this little boy, I didn't even realize the time had sped through so quickly not until the kiosk owner said she wanted to close her shop.  It was time to go our separate ways, so I gave Timothy some money to cover for the ground nuts he had lost so he doesn't get a beating. His eyes sparkled with joy and relief. I told him I would like to see him the next day if he doesn't mind to which he eagerly gave a quick response.

          The next day, I took a stroll to the kiosk and I saw Timothy already waiting for me. I bought him bread and a drink because I knew he hadn't had breakfast. We spent the day talking, or me telling him stories that made him giggle so much that almost brought tears to my eyes. This is me all grown up learning so much about life from a little boy. The owner of the shop even dropped her own stories into our conversations now and then. For moments it looked like a perfectly awkward family which just made me smile yet masking the real hurt I carried around.

              While we were still talking, some students came by the shop to buy some snacks from the kiosk and I saw the sadness in Timothy’s eyes almost reminiscing on an opportunity he once had before he was made to drop out of school. One of the students approached Timothy to buy some ground nuts, he asked how much a cup of groundnut goes for, to which Timothy replied N50. The price seemed to aggravate the lad and he replied in broken English “because, you dey see us wear uniform, you think say we dey pluck money from tree.” Timothy replied in broken English too “if you no like the uniform, drop am na.”  ‘small boy I no be your mate, na groundnut you dey sell, which future you think say you get?” said the lad, Timothy then replied “e no mean say because you dey wear uniform now and I dey sell groundnut, your future better pass my own.” Hearing this, the lad charged at Timothy, threw the tray of ground nuts to the floor and blows were exchanged. I broke off the fight and ordered the students leave the area.  

            Timothy had a nose bleed, which I helped him clean it off, I asked him why he had to fight with the boy knowing he looked like a troublemaker? He replied that” sometimes, you don’t let anybody get away with insulting your very essence you defend it”. I was dumbfounded and just bent down to pick up the ground nuts. We just sat silent for the rest of the day and when evening came, we said our bye-byes and we left not before giving him some extra money. As I walked away thinking of how Sani insulted me, my wife and family, my essence as a man, a friend, a husband and a father and t seems I have let him get away with it so far. My thoughts were cut short by Timothy’s voice “uncle, I am sorry for fighting, will you come tomorrow?” I turned and saw him with the tray of groundnut on his head, with a smile and a gentle nod, I replied “yes, Timothy I will come tomorrow.” He smiled and walked away. I spent the night thinking about Ngozi, Michael, Timothy and Sani.

             It’s been a week and half since I left my home, no communication with my family and friends. I wondered what must be happening back at home; somehow, I kind of liked the state of the situation; maybe if my presence was scarce, they would see how important I am. In hindsight, that was very selfish of me. I knew everybody will be worried but somehow that didn't change my excitement about seeing Timothy the next day.

            I walked to the kiosk and there Timothy was waiting for me, this time I came with a newspaper and a pencil. He was excited to see me and I was too, bought him bread and a drink and we got talking. After he had his breakfast, I opened the crossword puzzle section, I taught him how to play the game and he was so interested. During the course of teaching him the game, “uncle are you married?” He asked pointing to my wedding ring. I paused for a second and told him yes I was. He sighed and I asked why, “you will soon leave me and this place” he said. I was a bit shocked but that was the truth, sooner or later I was going to leave him and that little town, return back to my life and face my own demons. I looked him in the eye as he eagerly waited for my own response “yes, I will but I can and I always come back and visit you.” He just sighed. I told him I had a little boy and that I missed him so much. “Why did you leave him then?” he asked. I had to think of an answer which I hadn't really asked myself. Why did I leave Michael? “don’t worry uncle if you don’t have answer now after all he is lucky to have you as a father, but don’t leave him alone for too long.” “Timothy you sound like a wise elder, do you know that? “ I said, he just smiled and continued playing the puzzle. I just watched him, smile as he read the cartoons, snack on the ground nuts which had been a usual practice, anyone who was interested to buy could buy and I wondered how I fell in love with this little boy in less than a month and it didn't matter to me if he wasn't my son.

              Evening came upon us, I bought him some snacks and gave him some money for the ground nuts. When I got to the hotel room, I was tempted to call home but I didn't, I felt it was a bit of punishment Ngozi deserved. I spent the night wondering what forgiveness was all about. I always heard that “forgiveness isn't for the other person but you”. Forgive Sani for raping my wife or my wife that went to find comfort in my friend’s hands and got raped in the process and hid a truth from me? It was a difficult pill to swallow, the very thought of Sani or the re-enactment of the scenario in my head filled me with intense anger.

        The next morning, I got the day’s newspaper and got to the kiosk but Timothy wasn't there, I didn't think it was odd maybe he had some errands to run. I waited for him for the whole day, hoping he would show up but he didn't show up. I asked the kiosk owner if she knew any information about his whereabouts and her response was “you have been talking to a child for days and you didn't think it necessary to ask for his address” that was rude but that didn't bother me, I just left. I walked to the motel just lost in thought, wondering what would have happened to him. 

             The next day, I walked back to the kiosk and waited but he still didn't show up. The kiosk owner saw the genuine worry on my face when I asked if she heard any news and she replied “no”. I gave her the phone number of the motel and begged her to call me if he showed up after which she stretched out her palms and demanded payment. I got back to the motel and asked the make shift shop owners around the area if they knew where the child that got beaten here some days ago lived. I didn't get any useful information but people seemed to know him as the “groundnut boy” but nobody could tell me where he lived or where he was.                    

               It’s been two days now and no sign of Timothy, I was worried and part of me was scared. I remembered just crying on the second night and asking God why things dear to my heart seemed to get ruined or taken from me? I prayed he would be fine wherever he was. On the 3rd day, I decided to try one more day of searching and if he didn't turn up or I didn't get any useful information about his whereabouts, I would leave. I walked to the kiosk again and hoped I would hear some bit of good news from the lady. She told me she didn't have anything useful, I turned away in disappointment and headed back to the motel. As I got to the building, a little boy ran up to me and said “are you looking for Timothy?” ”yes, I am” I replied. He told me to follow him, held my hands and led me down the road and through a narrow path. I got to a little community where houses where built with mud and thatched leaves for roofs and those that weren't locked in colonial times had outdated zinc for roofs. The little boy led me to a house, pointing he said “brother Timothy lives here”.

                 The house looked old and the zinc roof had visible holes in it. I walked up and knocked on the door. A woman came forward and said “who are you and who I was looking for?” in a harsh tone. I introduced myself and asked if Timothy lived there. With a look of suspicion mixed with surprise she said he did.  “Can I see him?” to which she replied “what for?” I was taken slightly aback to how rude she was but that didn't bother me since I was eager to see Timothy.  She didn't wait for a reply, she just said “follow me” I followed her in, the house looked a little untidy with four children seated around a bowl of rice. She led me to a room where I saw Timothy lying on a mat covered by a wrapper. He looked really sick and he was coughing a lot sometimes he coughed out blood. I was beyond horrified at the sight of the blood but it didn't seem to bother her, as she stood by the door just looking. I went over to hold Timothy and asked her why she hadn't taken him to a clinic. “Where is the money? “She replied. “What about drugs?” “Did you buy any?” To my utter surprise she said” you look rich, why don’t you take care of him yourself”. After saying this, she walked out of the room and I stood there looking at poor Timothy in so much discomfort.

                 I lifted him up, carried him out of the house and proceeded to my motel room. I laid him on the bed and packed up all my belongings. I called a rental agency instead of driving because I didn't think I was in a very good state to drive. When the car arrived, I begged the driver to take me to any reputable hospital close by. The ride away from that town was an emotional one for me, this was me running away from my own hurt and tossed into a different ball game entirely and praying this little, brave child wouldn't die in my arms.

          When we got to one, I carried Timothy in my arms, ran in and continuously screamed “HELP ME” with tears running down my cheeks. About two doctors and some attendants rushed to me and carried Timothy off my arms, took him to a room and from the look of things they were battling to save his life.  While I waited for news, I called our family doctor and begged him to come meet me at this hospital.  Like a sequence of orchestrated symphony, text messages from Ngozi started flooding into my phone. I managed to read about ten of them before I decided I wasn't going to any more and made up my mind to forgive her. I didn't know if I did it to bribe God as I prayed for the safety of Timothy.  About forty five minutes had passed, lifting up my head, I saw Tunji walking in. He came up to me and said” I am not going to ask you where you have been or why you left but what are you doing here?” he said. “There is a very sick child I brought in here and I wanted you to work with the doctors here to try and save his life”     

               While I was still trying to explain to Tunji, one of the doctors helping Timothy came to meet me. “How is he doctor?” “What is the matter?” I asked. “Severe pneumonia that had infected both lungs”. “Surviving this night will be a miracle” the doctor said. I practically felt my knees shaking. At this point I could hear Tunji introducing himself to the doctor and they both walked away talking.  Tunji came over and patted me on the back and told me to get up. I asked if I go and see him, with a nod, he agreed. I was led to the intensive unit of the Paediatric ward, to a room where I saw a little body connected to all sorts of machines, tubes and drips. I was afraid. I walked towards the bed and sat down beside him. He looked pale and even sicker. I held his hand that had a needle stuck inside and said a little prayer asking for a miracle.   

             As I sat there, I spoke to him about the little time we had together, what he taught me and how I want him to come stay with me. I don’t know if he heard what I said, but I spoke anyway. I have often heard about how people in comas can hear when spoken to. For a while, I was quiet, and then I told him “I loved him”. It was as if he smiled but I knew he gripped my hands as if to tell me it was aright, and then a quiet sigh, after which all hell broke loose, the monitor alarms went off, doctors and nurses rushing in. A nurse was ushering me out when I heard that dreaded long beep I always hear in Grey’s Anatomy episodes. In my head, I knew he was dead but in my heart, I hoped for a different result. Barely five minutes I entered the waiting room, Tunji entered and shook his head and said “I am sorry, he didn't make it” I sank into the chair and just wept like a baby. I told him to take me home, that I wanted to see my family.

            When I got home, it was about 3am in the morning, when I got to the front pouch before I could ring the door bell, Ngozi already opened the door. I came inside and started sobbing and begged her to forgive me. “You have done nothing wrong; it is I that needs your forgiveness.” “I forgive you Ngozi, I forgive you.” “I am sorry for walking out on you and Michael, I am sorry for not calling you, I am sorry for not being there as a husband, a friend for you when you needed me most.” My legs had become too weak to support my own weight, I fell on my knees and Ngozi went with me. We just sobbed and wept together then I kissed her and told her I wanted to see my son. We walked up the stairs together and opened the door to Michael’s room and there he was sleeping as peaceful as ever.

               In the days that went by, I told Ngozi about Timothy and everything I had been through. She suggested we start a charity to honour him to help less privileged children through secondary school and link them with other scholarships that will help them continue to the tertiary level and I thought it was a brilliant idea. I also confronted Sani and gave him some choice word about friendship and family and wasn't in my presence and family.

         So this is my heart felt story, my marriage was saved from the lessons of a child. I have gotten home. My Timothy forever in my heart always. I love you

Throwback Thursday!!

Hello World! its another Thursday in this great month of April in this beautiful year 2014.
    As usual,something to share from my write ups from way back but I most confess, it is running low!#smile# Do enjoy!



                                   

                what you wearing?

        I was talking to Harold a while ago and one of the intriguing part of the whole discussion was 'masks'. You see, Harold is one of my brothers, I always find it interesting talking to him because he is quite a masterpiece...I thank God for him with all my being.
       I don't think our talk lasted up to thirty minutes but I have meditated on the contents for quite a while now. Every morning, we wake up,do the usual and then stare at the mirror looking at the image that sends so many messages to one's sub conscious and then decide what mask to put on  for that day that would magnify oneself and not make one look like a sorry excuse for whatever he/she is hiding on the inside the real you.
     Lets try the 'BOSS'...would try and control everybody's own business so one will look put together even though that person cant figure out how to fix their own business.
      What about 'PERFECT'? would try the darnedest to be perfect in even the smallest detail, so one will look immaculate in everyone's' eyes except the one that matters most...YOU. Forgetting trying to be perfect makes one already imperfect.
      Lets try 'STRONG' today. Be  everybody's pillar, supporting, caring and doing the very best to make other people feel good,always making someone else happy. The end result more often than none leads to resentment, a bitter person that ends up exhausted.
       What about 'FRAGILE'? so everybody would be forced to look out for weak little one because the 'handle with care sign is right on the forehead.' Lets try the' HEARTLESS PLAYER' break a heart and look good doing it too and most times the bitter truth...just a scared person afraid to love.Or we just put a combo because we are afraid of what people would say if the real 'you' comes out.
       It is like seeing a book on a shelf, it takes your attention at first, you like what you see but the cover keeps on changing in front of you over and over again eventually you walk away because that its unusual. The point is that you walked away based on the cover without knowing the contents, lets face it, people don't need extra drama in their lives, give them a chance to know the real you instead of changing masks on a daily basis. This can go on forever but its wise to ask yourself everyday;is it the real me the world will see today or just another pretender trying to find a place?
          Most times, we end up attracting the wrong people and letting go of the right ones and find it difficult keeping up with the demands that come with the masks. After all the hard day's work of pretending, you return back looking at that mirror without any covering and you see a broken up person and before you know its tomorrow and here we go again.
      Break the cycle, someone out there loves the real you.

Happy Monday Happy Week!!!

                                         Happy Monday world!!!

           Hope you had a splendid weekend and looking forward to a great new week ahead?

       

        Wanted to begin this particular piece by painting an illustration; Imagine, there was a very rich and wealthy man who had a son. One day, he calls the son aside and shows him the newest car in town he bought for him and said wherever he wants to go he should use the car. Now, when this son wants to go out, he sees his car keys but decides to take long distances on foot to where he is going and comes back home exhausted, tired, beaten by the elements and what not and this continues on and on. Can you imagine how the father will feel? Disappointed to the point that he wouldn't say anything again and waits till the son realizes and uses what has been given to him.

        So friends, relate this story to God and us. God has given us everything we need to live the glorious of lives here on earth but we don’t use what has been given to us.

        I often hear people say; why does God let evil happen or why is the world so much in a whirlwind of disasters and God isn't doing anything? Why is God doing nothing… a lot of whys. The truth is that till Jesus comes evil is going to happen; bad things are going to happen.

         Also, we often wonder why bad things seemly happen to good people or Christians; and I think it is either because of ignorance to the things God has given to live above the disasters or not been sensitive enough to receive and decode what the signals heaven is sending per time. Been “good” will not shield anyone from the attacks of the enemy but instead been a member of God’s family by receiving Jesus into your life and it doesn't just stop there. If you see a baby this month sucking on a feeding bottle then 10 years later, you still see that baby sucking on a feeding bottle, you will know of a truth something is majorly wrong somewhere. The same thing applies in Christianity, at salvation, we are like babies sucking on a feeding bottle but we need to grow.

         How do we grow?  By increasing our knowledge in the things of God and this is done by effective studying of the Word of God on a daily basis. When we study the Word of God, enlightenment will come by the Spirit of God when we ask for understanding of what is written not trying to use our mental capability to understand.

        When we make studying the Word, applying it to our lives, praying to God, a continuous habit, we become more spiritually sensitive. We begin to decode what God is saying to us. We are directed on what to do or not to do, places to go or not to go. The truth of the matter is when a person’s life is directed by God, there are less worries and problems to deal with.

        “Greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world”. This is a verse from the Bible; with this, there are some certain facts; 1. When you are a child of God, God dwells in you. 2. Though you are in the world, you are superior to the world. 3. There is an enemy in the world that becomes your enemy because you accepted Jesus but nevertheless, the One in you is greater than the one that runs the world so do not fear.

      So, it is time, we who call the Name of the Lord realize what we have been blessed with, apply ourselves to the demands of growing up spiritually and take a stand. A stand for yourself, your family, your children, your parents, brothers and sisters, relations and your generation.

      The first step to living a victorious life is accepting Jesus Christ into your hearts and making the confession with your mouth. “Lord Jesus, I confess that you are the Son of the Living God. I believe you came to this earth in flesh, died for my sins and after 3 days, you rose from the dead. Come into my heart and receive me as one of your own” Amen!

Listen!

Throwback Thursday!!

 Hello world!!
      Its truly amazing how time really flies by, it is already  the first Thursday of the month of April. The race still continues, like a line in the lyric of a song says "the race is long, in the end it is only with yourself".
      It will help your morale not to compare your life with another person or compare your " chapter 1 with another persons chapter 20". The bottom line is this; you been focused, sowing the right seeds, giving time to the things that matter and above all never compromise your relationship with God instead you grow it, invest time in it and enjoy your life blossom.
     In case, you would like to drop a note or say a "hello", I decided to put my email forward and it's : smarrsh@gmail.com.
      Enjoy today's reading...

                   Loosing Your Way?

           What do you do when the fear of the future suddenly grapples and paralyses you? When you try to tell yourself the journey hasn't ended amidst the overwhelming voices telling you how far you haven't come? Or that time has almost passed you by? And you are tempted to compare yourself to a long list of people who you feel have accomplished all that you thought and hoped you would have accomplished at this particular time?
           Do you wish time could freeze for you so you could get that job, buy that car, build or buy that house, marry that spouse, have that kid so at least you don't feel so left out when you see your mates going over their accomplishments or when you go over them yourself unconsciously in your head and hoping every dream comes into reality with a snap a finger?
          Feeling misplaced and don't seem to know where you are heading? We all wish we had a magic wand to make everything all better . Man can never give you the complete answers you are looking for. For example, imagine, you bought an appliance from the manufacturer directly and you have access to the manufacturer, if that particular appliance has issues, who do you complain to? a fellow man like you or the manufacturer directly who has the ability and technical know how to fix that problem?.. and friends that is the same thing with life. God created us, God knows everything about us and when we are faced with problems or our parts do not work, talking about it or complaining to man will not work. it is better to tell God our "manufacturer".
       Of a truth, the journey of life can be so challenging that we are often tempted to throw our hands up in the air and give up because we conclude there is no use or its too difficult. Do not limit yourself, lift your head high above that river that seems it can drown you, only believe that that fire will not consume you and even if you have scars to show; do not be ashamed, look at it this way....you went through what killed some people but with the grace of God you came out and you have the proof to show!
          Having this at the back of our minds, physical achievements can never be compared to spiritual; achievements True fulfilment is found in resting and dwelling in the presence of God Almighty.
             Bless and enjoy the rest of your week!