A Very Merry Christmas!!!

      When Christmas approaches in temperate regions it is often associated with snow falling most of the time but here in the tropics particularly in Nigeria, it is associated with the Harmattan season. My geography is a bit rusty now but I know it is due to a particular wind blowing across the Sahara desert. The wind is cold, dry and dusty.You know the period has come when you go out in the morning looking young and come back home looking "old" literary because you have grown grey hairs! It is actually the dust particles trapped by hairs that are uncovered. I remember when growing up my siblings and I after long hours at school would come back home arguing who was older.(seniority became proportional to the amount of colour change on the hairs on our head and eye lids)LOL!
    I decided to post a Christmas story from one of my throw back Thursday pieces. Do enjoy and never forget to be thankful.

                                 Once Upon A Nativity Story


           I remember everything so clearly as if it was yesterday. It was one of those nights, different from the others; its cold, a little misty and with clear skies decorated with diamonds of different sizes and a glitter each with a story to share. Always been fascinated with stars, could tell where the North star was pointing, the Belt of Orion, the Big Dipper from the Small Dipper. I wondered where this interest came from? Maybe a dream or a vision I cant tell but I saw a being like a human but much larger descend from the heavens and he spoke to me pointing to the night skies and said "look at the stars, there is a change in the times" and to my surprise I saw the star realign themselves and everything else.....a blur! This night had a certain feel to it, there was an East star that seem to dominate the skies but dint put much thought into it probably because I was so exhausted from working a whole day's job at the inn. Had to hurry up so I could help aunt Jane with the the remaining chores at home. I decided to take a short cut, took a path close to the hills covered with the finest pasture in the land where shepherds took their flock to for grazing. 

      As I hurried on, to my utter shock and total disbelief, a blinding light appeared and an heavenly being like an angel appeared to the shepherds. I was totally filled with awe and became as still as a log of wood. I looked on and the heavenly being spoke to the shepherds saying " fear not; for behold,I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a saviour, which is Christ the Lord. and this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger" and suddenly the heavens opened and I saw a host of angels in the heavens and then the strangest thing happened, I saw myself in the king's palace. 

       I was at the entrance to the king's court, dressed in the most expensive silk I have ever laid eyes on. The jewellery from my head to my feet were extraordinarily beautiful. Then a soft greeting and an embrace from the queen as she walked towards me. I thought to myself this is getting better by every passing second. And she says "your husband awaits your presence" pulling me along as we walked through the palace hallways. In a low pitched voice I asked "husband"? and she says "yes dear, my son Prince Yonathan!" I wondered how I held the excitement within, finally I married the prince and am a princess!yeeaaa! I got to the courts and there he was my very own true love, my prince! He calls out for me to seat by his side. Showered me with praises and stares that made my eyes water, holds my hand as we sat together. He got up as if to kiss my cheek, held my face and started licking it over and over again and barking like a dog and I opened my eyes and there it was a German Shepherd... one of the guard dogs licking my face! oh well! there goes my fantasy dream! 

     Sitting upright for a while, I remembered what made me pass out in the first place. so I hurried up to the manger as described by the angel. I got there, didn't enter but I found a broken down window, squatted at the base and peeped through, there laid the most precious sight in the whole world;a baby boy wrapped in swaddling clothes as described by the angel. The baby boy had the calmness of an angel, the beauty of precious stones and the aura of a king. But wait!!! this was the couple my master rudely turned away from the inn saying" there was no room". As I looked on ,there were three men looking richly dressed with gifts and presented it to the baby: gold, myrrh and frankincense. Also the shepherds were there. I decided to head home because it was getting late. I got up and took a look at the skies and it was as if the stars were dancing and leaping for joy and there it was the East star that lighted the skies over the manger as if to announce the birth of the child! 

     As I walked on, I pondered on the whole events of this nights. Thought of the heavenly announcement, the gifts, the star, the child. Little did I know it was the beginning of the greatest story of love and redemption. 


God Bless and do not miss the reason Jesus came to the earth!
Merry Christmas World!!!!! God believes in your tomorrow, do not give up!

Happy Holidays!

#Ding dong merrily on high........!

Hello world!!!

    It is indeed a blessing to be alive and healthy in a time as this despite all the ups and down. The only thing we hold on to is God and He has been faithful and merciful all the way! Praise the Lord!

      This is the season of Christmas, a season of giving, we mark this because the reason behind the season is God giving us Jesus our eternal saviour and redeemer. I would like to challenge you all let this be a season of giving: yes giving! Giving thanks to God for all things you have been through since the beginning of the year till now. A wise man told me " you might have lost something but the reason you have not lost everything is because of God." If you say nothing is working around you, then let us do a quick review; your eyes see, you are not paying to breathe, your legs are functioning well, you eat without help, you use the bathroom any time you feel like and so on then give thanks.  "A living dog is better than a dead lion."

       Have this at the back of your mind: the fact that you see another new day, God believes in your today maybe you should start believing in yourself! So give thanks, give thanks to God!let everything that has breath praise the Lord! do you have breath? Yes, then praise the Lord!

                                       Affect Your Generation

    Each creature of God has potentials embedded in him/her but the problem with most
of us is that we keep dreaming and wishing to be something everyday of our lives
without taking bold steps to get there.

    To see far is one thing,going there is another. Due to the fear of failure,most

people prefer to be complacent concerning their dreams in life .What makes us so
afraid of failure? As if it was the ultimate scandal. We assume that because we
have made one mistake we are failures,therefore forever disgraced.

    What a ridiculous assumption. How many people are completely successful in every
department of life?No one. The most successful ones are those that learn from
their mistakes,turning them into opportunities.

    My dear reader courage is not the absence of fear,its going ahead in spite it. No one
can make you inferior without your consent,else you allow it. Remember the way
you see yourself today will affect your performance today. 

    

    God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power,love & of a sound mind . 

So affect your generation.

By Anthony Ogedegbe

Whose Are You?

 Though this is coming late; Happy New month World!

      For a while, I never understood what it meant to be living in good health, I just considered it as one of those things one is entitled to, you did not have to pray about it or be thankful for it. I guess that perception changed when I took trips to a certain hospital and saw the sick and I mean the really sick. At that moment, I told myself " I have done nothing to God, for Him to put me in good health, every breathe is a blessing and a miracle"
     In essence what I am trying to say is never forget to tell God "thank you" to be able to see a new day.If you really take time to think and evaluate things, you will realise you are not more qualified to be in good health or be alive than those that are on sick beds, dying or dead.
    A word of hope to those with health challenges: God is able to turn that situation around and there is hope in that promise of sound health.



I was going through some old journals and I saw a simple story illustrating the hope of salvation and hope that I thought it necessary to share. Read and be blessed.


     A shepherd had two pregnant sheep and was excited about it. On the fateful delivery day both sheep gave birth but the lamb of one of the sheep dies and the mother of the other lamb dies. The confused shepherd needed to device a plan that would save the orphaned lamb so he decide to put the lamb close to the bosom of the bereaved mother but to his surprise, each time she sniffs it she pushes it away.
    The shepherd realises that the mother knows the lamb is not hers, so he slaughtered the dead lamb and robbed its blood all over the living lamb and brought it back to the mother sheep. This time she sniffs it and allows it to suck.

     This is how the mystery of the Kingdom works; to come to God, to get the best from the Father, to be nourished and blessed by God, we all need a certain type of blood and that is the Blood of Jesus Christ. This is done by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour and giving Him Lordship over your life.
John 14:6 "Jesus said..."I am the way, the truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through me."
     Life is a transient and vulnerable state, it is therefore a wise conclusion to have divine help. make Jesus the Lord of your life and have that boldness to approach the throne of grace to obtain mercy in the time of need.

God bless you plenty>

Through It All

 
      It helps most times to take a moment to reflect so far on the life you have lived.Time away from all the stress, pressures and demands and see how you have fared even in the darkest of times and realized that if God was not on your side, you would have been greatly destroyed.
 
     We find conflict when try to take God out of the picture and reply on our own strength or wits. Man in his natural self is not designed to handle life or go through this earth by himself or without divine help. You are who you are because God loves you and there is always going to be a better tomorrow when we surrender all to Him.

       For the fact you wake up everyday is a sign that God still believes in your tomorrow. So do not give up on God because He has not given up on you.




                                   Through It All
      You picked me up when I was nothing, broken, battered and bruised.
      You picked me up from the gutter and held me close like a mother would hold a child,
      With all the silent love and happiness unfathomable.

      You cleaned me, healed my broken pieces and my wounds. 

      Washed me clean and called me yours.

      I found delight and joy spending time with you.

      But days and seasons came when I decided to walk away and far away did I drift off.

      I left everything and most of all I left You.

      By needs and wants was I surrounded about like a thick smoke and I could hardly breathe.  

      Lost again, not knowing where to turn to. 

      But Your grace found me. 

      Your love made a path for me in the mist of everything to return to You once again.

      Out in the light, I saw my true state, broken once again. 

      All You did was hold me even closer.

      How can I ever repay this debt of love that takes words right out of my lips.

      In reference I will worship you and in Your Holy presence will I dwell.

      I am nothing without you and everything with you.

    

Hope you enjoyed this little poem? The truth is, as humans we need  help and true help comes from the Creator of the heavens and the earth....Jehovah Almighty is His name. Let Him guide you, let Him love you and let Him give you His peace this world can never give.

Have a beautiful Wednesday and a lovely week ahead. To my Nigerian family: Happy Independence Bless

A Message of Hope

                 

      A Saturday morning it was, birds singing, the smell of coffee and roses fill the air and a smile for everyone that passes by…priceless! Draped in the finest couture to attend an all too important event…yes it was the wedding of the year for me and I was not supposed to be late, but you know how we do it! *wink*

     Though I took no responsibility for doing anything or playing any significant role that day, I had already done all the work that lead to a cascade of events leading to this big day, I played cupid, match maker and my work has blossomed.

     A drive down to the hall and what was supposed to be my glamorous entrance turned into a scene from a horror story. It was not supposed to look like this. Everybody that was invited to the wedding was there but people were dressed in black and not in any wedding outfit including the couple. Instead I saw an open coffin right in front. At that moment, cold chills ran down my spine and life was taken from my legs and I needed to have a sit. I scrambled to an empty seat all the way at the back and just watched the strange happenings.

   I watched as everybody came to pay their respects to the person that was dead, shedding tears and sobbing bitterly. But what I thought was odd was every person who came over to pay their last respect dropped what looked like a gift and walked away.

    I did not feel any remorse, in fact I was getting bored and wondered how important this person was to get so much attention, almost felt jealous of a dead person. I wanted to leave, I thought to myself I came for a wedding and not a funeral. But as I got up to leave, there was a man kneeling by the coffin, crying and muttering some things to himself, words that even those around him could not hear but as far from him as I was, I could hear everything he said in my heart.

    He called out my name and I almost answered out loud. So for a moment, I paused and just listened. “I loved you” he said. “I came from heaven, left my glory, and came down to earth. I did so many wondrous things, left my words for you to know how you could learn of me and know how to reach me. I died for you, took your place in death to show you the highest love anyone could ever show. My hands and feet were pierced for you. My body beaten so you would not have yours broken. You tried but learn of me but you did not love me enough to be fully committed to me. You didn’t love me enough to commit to our relationship. But anyone or anything was strong enough to take your heart and focus away from me. If only your eyes could see the gifts around you that were supposed to be yours but you kept on missing them because you never did things the way I told you to. Now look at my love, you lie wasted in this box never to know what could have been”

     My heart was shed into pieces at every word I heard, I wanted to run away as far as I could but my feet would not let me. I took a look back to the people and they were even in a worse state then before, they had become lifeless, glassy white eyes with shrivelled up skin almost like zombies. All of them pointing to the front wanting me to go and have a look at who was in the coffin and as I took each step, I could feel the piercing of each stare. I finally got to the foot of the coffin and saw who was in it. She was dressed in white, with a face of an angel and a kiss of death on her lips. It was me. But how could this be? I turned to look at everybody and this time they had become angels with sad faces and broken hearts.

   Then I saw the man who was talking and in a strange way I knew him. I had seen him before but did not know him enough to give any detailed information. His hands and feet had these holes in them and there were tears in his eyes. For the first time, I felt hurt and pain. I told him to explain it all to me.

He said to me “my love, my heart, the apple of my eyes, all I ever want is for you to love me back.” “Every time you go against me and continue in it, a part of you dies and is buried, you miss what is supposed to be yours and those are the gifts you see”

“How can I make it right?” I asked. “A simple prayer” he said and “repeat after me”. “Lord Jesus I confess I am a sinner, come into my life. Forgive my sins, wash me clean and make me whole. I confess you as my personal Lord and saviour from now henceforth. Amen”

   After I said that little prayer, I was lighter and happy from within. A look into the coffin and it was empty. “You are alive in me now no more dead.” This time his eyes were brighter than a thousand suns with a breath taking smile and a transformed group of angels singing praises to God. It was a priceless moment for me.

  “Its time to wake up” he said. “What?” I was still trying to understand what I was to wake up from; “the wedding!!!” “You don’t want to be late.” Like a bolt of electricity went through my body and I woke up from sleep with so much force I almost snapped my neck, looked around and saw I had just 30 minutes to get ready for the wedding. For a moment I paused and reflected on what I had just experienced. It was more than a dream and more like a message not just for me but to the whole world. A message of hope, freedom and love.

    I do hope you enjoyed reading. Happy week ahead and let Jesus Christ be the Lord of your life, it is a lot safer. Bless 

What Say You?

      

    If you say “I love God” and worry about everything, then you are a liar and do not understand what love is. Worrying, not necessarily in words but in thoughts. For to worry is to tell God He is not good enough to handle what you are going through.

   Granted, sometimes the shock can be daunting, the emotions explosive and the reasoning in one’s, mind endless, there is however much wisdom is taking a time out. A ‘Sabbath’ in you, a time , a moment where one is needed to be still and reflect not on the circumstance or situation but on who God is, not forgetting you made it this far because He carried you there.                                    

    The Lord Jesus did most of his healings on the Sabbath day. A day of rest from all the demands and activities of life and work and a day used to honour God. To worry, takes work and it is exhausting and leaves one even in a worse state than the beginning. A Sabbath was a mandatory day of rest, no work, rest! So in dealing with life and confronted with situations….take series of Sabbaths to seize from work; mental work and analysing everything and focus all your attention on God. We are naturally programmed to focus on situations forgetting that focusing on those things takes our attention from the very place help will come.

       

       OF NECESSITY: ‘I LIFT UP MY EYES TO THE HILLS’

QUESTION: “WHERE DOES MY HELP COME FROM?”

OF A TRUTH/ANSWER: MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD, THE MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH.

    God through His words says “fear not, for I am with you.” He knew that there will be times when situations may look very unfavourable but He gave an assurance before hand.

          Do you consider the night sky, the stars the moon and the marvellous creations of His mighty hands? The One that did all those things said “I am with you” “For I have not given you the spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Instead of letting the spirit of fear dwell with you in hard times, why don’t you try the spirit of power, the spirit of love and the spirit of a sound mind?

      Worrying takes your focus from God who is the Almighty and focuses it on a phase that would not last forever and exalt it beyond its borders, give it the power to toy with you as it pleases and leaves you a state of perpetual mental, emotional and physical mess.

       The job of the enemy is to introduce those thoughts continually into your mind, when he sees you are shaken he knocks you out but when he realizes you subject those thoughts to the standard of God’s word, he lets go. Do not give the devil a leg up over you; you are too defended to be tossed like the waves of the ocean.

      I have heard it say when it feels lie heaven is shut over you and silent to your calls, it is not that you haven’t been noticed but great faith to those who wait the longest because in the place of waiting, you are been transformed. The Redeemer is able to save and ready to save so at the end of it all, you can boldly say “I know my Redeemer lives and He lives for evermore.”

        

      Isaiah 43:2-3

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you

And when you pass through the rivers,

They will not sweep you,

When you walk through the fire,

You will not be burned;

The flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God,

The Holy one of Israel, your saviour.

  

     Notice it is ‘when’ and not ‘if’ therefore as long as we are alive on this earth, situations are going to come up against us but we must not fear. Also, it may be waters, rivers or fire, our challenges may be different but it is common to man. In all of these, God is there and He is mighty to save.

    Ponder on this, when the devil brings those thoughts into your mind to elicit fear, tell him of his own future, tell him how he is a defeated foe and how chains of torment have been reserved for him in eternal darkness but you are the apple of God’s eye. Tell him those scriptures that promises you a glorious outcome and future and he will leave. “Resist the devil and he shall flee”

   It is too early to give up!

Enjoy and have a blessed week!

The Mountain Mover

                               

          All I knew was I was given an assignment to complete and there was a price at the end of the journey.

    A price that couldn’t be bought with gold, silver, the rarest jade, no amount of money or the world itself but no one ever told me of the twists and turns, of the highs and lows and of course the mountains…oh !those mountains!

      Those mountains scared me, made be cower and sometimes I was forced to look for alternate routes which always ended me up in more twists and turns. Then I will remember the instruction “Go on straight, do not deviate from this path, and continue till the end”.

      How do I go on when mountains blocked the way? Oh those mountains! They were as tall as mighty oak tress staked on top of each other, as wide as a river with edges as sharp as swords.

So many times I got discouraged that I would sit down and focus on the mountains, wondering how I will ever get to the end. Tempted to turn back and walk back to the beginning and throw my hands up in the air in defeat.

     But what I did not realize sooner was that the One who sent me on the journey in the first place was the Mountain mover himself and He told me all I had to do when I see a big scary mountain was to get on my knees and pray and have faith in Him as small as a mustard seed.

     Then I arose to my feet, I saw a clear path, my Mountain Mover had worked. All I could say “was thank you Mountain mover.” Then I continued onward, many times I saw even bigger mountains worse than the first but I always remembered what my Mountain Mover told me and anytime I got on my knees to pray, before I rose up the mountains were no longer there.

     Then one day, as I was walking unaware of what will happen next then a big ol’ mountain popped up directly from the earth beneath me. In my heart I was scared, I prayed but the mountain would not go away. Then I heard a voice say to my heart “do not be afraid, you carry me on the inside now” then I looked at the mountain with eyes and heart full of courage and said “go away” and like an obedient slave it disappeared. Oh happy day!!!

     I continued till the very end knowing my mountain mover was ever with me. At the end of the journey, I saw my Mountain Mover waiting for me and He said “welcome home my very own”

Jeremiah 23:29 Is my word not like as a fire?saith the Lord; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

Mark11:23 For verily I  say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

     Friends, we have all it takes to deal with the mountains of this life. Let us begin to focus on the power of our God instead of the limitation of our own strength.  Zechariah 4:7

Reporting For Duty!

      Hello world, its been quite a while. I took some time off for some personal reflections, to review the journey so far. I must admit, I got some answers but not all of them but one thing I can boldly declare is that God speaks, He speaks to His children and He wants to lead us in every direction of life no matter how insignificant it may look to us. However the great task at hand is to be able to listen to His voice and not just listening, obey His every command to lead the best of lives He has intended for us to live.

   I will like to begin this journey once again from a piece from my favourite Bible devotional stories, do enjoy.

                                                                INSIDE OUT

       Like many women each morning, perhaps you wake up, pour yourself a cup of caffeine, take a shower and then get ready to meet the world. you pick out an outfit (Preferably one that makes you look five to ten pounds lighter), do your hair and put on make-up. finally, you add jewellery, a belt and maybe a purse. voila! you are ready to meet the day.

    The care involved in our routines begs the question: How much time do we spend getting ready spiritually every morning? Do we take any time at all to ask God to guide us during our day? Do we read Scriptures, meditate or pray so that we can be more patient, kind and loving with our spouse and children? Or do we worry more about getting out the door than about the condition of our hearts.

    Caring for our outward appearance is not wrong... as long as do not  neglect focusing on our inner thoughts and attitudes too. The prophet Jeremiah noted that women were unlikely to forget their accessories, but God's people were prone to forget him. If we are honest, we will admit that we are much like the Israelites. In the mist of our busy lives, God often gets pushed to the bottom of our to-do lists. But spiritual growth happens from the inside out.

      Try this: tomorrow as you shower, praise God for the cleansing that Jesus' forgiveness provides. As you are getting dressed, thank God for clothing you with Christ's righteousness. When you put on your moisturiser, ask God to soften your hearts to His leading throughout the day. As you apply your make up, thank Him for being the foundation of your life. When you put in your contacts, ask God to give you eyes to see His workings in the world. And as you put on your earrings, thank Him for beautifying your life with the fruits of the spirit.

       Who knows? after talking to God throughout the morning, you might not even need caffeine!

Surulere

Surulere in the Yoruba language in Nigeria is used to describe a phrase “patience is a virtue”. There was also a period; this became the new slang in town. At every little instant, any opportunity for the slang to be used wasn't missed at all. Even to the point, people will crop and merge photos of themselves when they were kids and when they are all grown up now with the caption “surulere”. It was funny and was trendy and slowly its dying down and another slang waits to be created either by a music artist or some other celebrity then the craze starts all over again.

       “Patience”(or forbearing) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. (Wikipedia)

     In the Hebrew Torah, patience is referred to in several proverbs, such as "The patient man shows much good sense, but the quick-tempered man displays folly at its height" (Proverbs 14:29, NAB); "An ill-tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." (Proverbs 15:18, NAB); and "A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper, than he who takes a city." (Proverbs 16:32). The emotion is also discussed in other sections, such as Ecclesiastes: "Better is the patient spirit than the lofty spirit. Do not in spirit become quickly discontented, for discontent lodges in the bosom of a fool." (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9, NAB). (Wikipedia)

In the Christian Bible, patience is referred to in several sections. The Book of Proverbs notes that "through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone" (Proverbs 25:14-16, NIV); Ecclesiastes points out that the "end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride" (Ecclesiastes 7:7-9, NIV); and 1 Thessalonians states that we should "be patient with all. See that no one returns evil for evil; rather, always seek what is good for each other and for all" (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15, NAB). In the Epistle of James, the Bible urges Christians to be patient, and "see how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth,...until it receives the early and the late rains." (James 5:7-11, NAB). In Galatians, patience is listed as part of the "fruit of the Spirit": "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law". (Galatians 5:21-23, NIV). In Timothy, the Bible states that "Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life".(1 Timothy 1:15-17, NIV). (Wikipedia)

     Being patient in this jet age world where almost everything happens at the push of a button and a swipe of a touch screen is almost very difficult. We find ourselves being transformed and conforming ourselves to behave like gadgets on a daily basis. We want everything done at the push of a button. We forget, we need time to just take a moment and reflect on ourselves so far.

     When we are born into this world a race and a battle began, some had excellent starting platforms, others good, some manageable and some none at all. But what we make of our race will depend on how much we were able to stand in the mist of the so many trials of life and trust me, they do come as waves.

And one of the ways we stand in the mist of trials is through patience and being patient. For example, imagine you want to bake a cake, every thing is ready and set, you must understand that there are certain conditions that are supposed to be met of a necessity so that it doesn't come out the way it was put in the oven in the same place and one of the major conditions is heat.

     When you are faced with the heat of life what do you do? That’s a question we need to take time out and ask ourselves. Do we become depressed, defeated, blame others even God, pity ourselves or stand and hold your head up high?

     We must understand that in every challenge we find ourselves, there is a starting point and also an end the only difference is time. You are strong enough what matters is keeping a positive attitude and having a belief and trust that everything will be okay even if it means waking up everyday, walking up to your mirror and tell yourself “its going to be okay and you are going to make it and come out stronger”  

     “Surely there is an end and thy expectation shall not be cut off”

                                                                       Bless  

Keep On Keeping On!

    Hello World! 
      Be it daily struggles, sudden life challenges, we often wonder when its all going to end. We feel we are almost overwhelmed, constantly thinking and analysing possible outcomes and many what ifs'. I think as humans, we are not called to figure out the journey of life before or during the process. God already has done that, all we have to do is go close  to Him and He reveals, directs and strengthens for the road ahead.
      Remember, what ever it may be someone else has gone, going through or going to go through that challenge you might be facing and they survived, surviving, going to survive with heads held high, don't be the one to give up!



                                                Enduring, Endearing Love

 “DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER” ---at least that’s what the jewellery industry hopes enamoured couples everywhere will believe. One advertiser boasted, “Since diamonds lasts forever, a diamond engagement ring tells to your sweetheart that your love for her will be unwavering on into eternity.” Unfortunately, a diamond often outlasts the marriage it was meant to symbolize. Human love is not flawless.

     So where can you find flawless and eternal love? Psalm 136 asserts repeatedly that God’s love “endures forever.” This antiphonal song served as an anthem or pledge of mutual love between God and his people. Old Testament priests sang the first phrase in these verses while the congregation answered with the refrain. “His love endures forever.” It is much like an exchange of wedding vows between God and his bride, the nation of Israel (see Isaiah 62:5).

     God desires the closeness of such relationship with each of us for eternity. And his love lasts beyond a lifetime. Not only does God offer us enduring love, He also extends endearing love., a strong affection that lifts one higher or increases the value of the one beloved. Enduring speaks of the quantity of God’s love while endearing portrays the quality. The psalmist says that God is  “the one who remembered us in our low estate” (verse 23). We are nothing. But God loved us before we were lovely. We are His diamonds in the rough.

     In the rough, a diamond looks like a common pebble. The stone must undergo a finishing process to bring out its full radiance. It is then held against a large grinding wheel to cut and polish the stone. Many meticulous hours are spent perfecting it.

     Like the nation of Israel, God has lifted you out of the rubble of a worthless life. He is polishing and chiseling you into a jewel of great beauty. You are His diamond. You are like a bride being prepared for the bridegroom. And His love endures forever.

                                                   Culled from the New Women Devotional Bible

Happy New May!!!!!!!

 Hello World!

     May the month of May be a month of new miracles for you!
   
    Its not an unusual thing any more when we are faced with trials or struggles in this life but one thing we are sure of is God is with us every step of the way. He is faithful to see us through.
    One of the ways however to find encouragement in the mist of the storm is finding strength through gospel songs. I must confess, I am a beneficiary from songs sent at the right time that helped in building up faith and trust in God.
     I really like the Hillsong group, I think they have been anointed to sing with heavenly messages. These are some song titles I feel will be a blessing to your soul;

Still
Anchor
I surrender
Yaweh
Here I am (The Father's love)
Healer
Mighty to save

I also found Paul Wilbur's album The Watchman a tremendous blessing. He also has recorded some nice worship songs.

    As children of God, we should minister to God in songs and psalms. Using scriptures from the Bible talking about the majesty and sovereign power of God helps. We see those in chapters in Psalms and I also found thrilling was in the last chapters of Job, when God answered his so many questions.
   May God give us the grace to understand and unveil the mysteries of praise and worship of His name.

 And finally, it is the beginning of a new week, go and dominate your world! You are more than a conquer through Christ Jesus who strengthens you. God is on your side, Jesus is on your side, the Holy Spirit is on your side, nothing can resist the power!

gleetar: Still Celebrating Easter?

gleetar: Still Celebrating Easter?:        Hello World! how was the Easter celebrations? A lot of Easter bunnies  and eggs I presume?                I didn't want to writ...

Still Celebrating Easter?

       Hello World! how was the Easter celebrations? A lot of Easter bunnies  and eggs I presume?
       
       I didn't want to write a post during the Easter period like many other celebrations, we tend to forget what the real essence of what is been remembered. Its like fasting or going to church on Sundays; we want to be holy on those days. We want to look religious and do no wrong but what about Mondays or Wednesdays or days when we are not fasting?
The truth of the matter is God wants us to live a fasted life, He wants us to be careful of what we eat, we wants us to live a life everyday as if we are fasting or Sunday is everyday!
       The Easter story, yes we know Jesus Christ came to the earth, God in the flesh. While He walked on the earth he did many miracles, healed the sick, opened blind eyes, cleansed the leprous, made whole those possessed by demons and so many other things and when death came, He died and after three days He rose from the dead by the power of God. Why did He do it? Why did he see the need? Some people may feel I live a pretty good life without one good Samaritan coming to die for me and hearing constantly I need to accept him to live a meaningful life, do I really have to?
      Let's rewind back to creation, God made us, made man in His image and likeness. In other words to be made in the image and likeness of God means you carry what God carries. Nobody should be able to tell you, you are not pretty enough or handsome enough; the book of Psalms 139:14 tell you who you really are.
       God created man; Spirit first because God is a Spirit and enjoys fellowship with our spirit, then Soul which I believe was dead before the fruit was eaten then Body. Isn't it funny how the devil convinced the woman to eat from the Tree of Knowledge and not the Tree of Life which was also in the garden. When the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge was eaten, the soul became alive and the spirit died. The original order became reversed, now the senses where alert, they knew they were naked, they felt shame.( I would like to state here when you are communing with God your senses are dead, you walk by faith and not by sight that's why before the fall their senses were dead they walked in faith, after the fall, their senses became heightened walking by what they saw hence had to cover up themselves. In the book of Hebrews 11: 6 for without Faith, its impossible to please God....". so in that state, they could not please God)
        The devil specialises in giving people counterfeits or giving them what is already theirs but because of ignorance and emotions take it and get into trouble. When God created man, man was already a god, so why would eating a fruit make him any more a god than what he was already? Remember, God gave man dominion, authority over all His creation but by disobedience and ignorance they lost that. Now, man was cast into the devil's playing ground, this world. Controlled by emotions, doing things because just because it felt right and no more enjoying that communion and direction with and from God.
      The ministry of the devil is to Steal, Kill and Destroy. If he isn't stealing, he is killing and if he isn't  killing he is destroying. Now we may want to deny that the devil exists but just take a moment and turn on the news and just 5 minutes, you can see the horror of things happening, the wars, deaths, sickness, oppression, evils all around. Now, if there is so much evil, there has to be a corresponding good and that's where God comes in again.
       The ministry of Jesus is a Life ministry John 10:10. And how can you be immuned from the horrors of this earth? be in the camp of God  and how can we be in God's camp? through Jesus Christ. Now, the devil been the god of this world didn't understand why God will send Jesus Christ, he is not as smart as you think. He thought the death of Jesus on the Cross was the end, he didn't have a clue; the book of Colosians 2:15 tells us what Jesus did to the devil and his agents after the Cross
        Blood for Blood; Jesus shed blood from his body during the whipping, it wasn't for fun. God doesn't do anything for fun, He calculates every step. That blood was going to take the place of the blood bulls and rams that was used for the atonement of sins. That blood doesn't have to be renewed, that blood speaks. Remember when Cain killed his brother, the blood of Abel cried to God. The blood of Jesus speaks friend! When a man is covered with the blood of Jesus, how can an enemy that was disgraced and humiliated by the owner of that blood do anything to that man?
        That blood has life, the life of a man is in the blood. When blood leaves, life follows. The supernatural is more real than the physical. That blood now gives to man what Adam had originally had but lost. To live in this world you need the backing of God, you need the power of God to continue. Do not think for a second your alarm clock wakes you up, if you think so then ask those who died in their sleep and their alarm clocks did a whole lot of singing. Every waking day is a blessing and say learn to be grateful for the chance to see a new day.
     The blood came out from a whipped body and that body was whipped for our healing, no more molestation from sickness or diseases; 1st Peter 2:24. In Christ, you are covered all round.
      So the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ isn't just an Easter story but a call to realise certain things: the love of God for man, the need for man to realise what is already his, to live a life of dominion and power over  a defeated foe who truly hates man.
       How does this life begin? by accepting Jesus into your life. A simple prayer, a new beginning.

"Lord Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God. You came to the earth in flesh, died for my sins and after 3 days, you rose from the dead. Forgive my sins, wash them with your blood and come into my life. Fill me with your spirit and show and teach me the ways of God my Father"
        After this prayer, go to a book store and buy a Bible, read not only reading meditate and pray everyday.
        Let Easter be what we celebrate every day in our lives. God bless!
 

Happy Weekend!

       Good morning World! happy weekend! In the mist of all the celebrations and holiday, let's not forget the reason for the season and its all about Jesus Christ; His love for us, the cross and the sacrifice He made for us. So for whatever its worth, take out time to reflect on your time spent here on earth this weekend, where you are, where you have started from and where you are going to.
      This post was supposed to be on the "Throwback Thursday" but I had some issues with my modem but thank God its better now. Enjoy, remain blessed and take charge!

Change Lanes

         "God!!! You said in your words 'ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened"I have been asking, seeking and knocking since the beginning of this year and You haven't done anything I have asked for.
"God oh! At the beginning of this year, I wrote what I wanted you to do for me. The year is almost over, the list is still untouched". I was in church, when someone gave a testimony that her too wrote a list at the beginning of the year and before June, You had done everything on her list.
God! Are you now a respecter of persons? Didn't you say 'what You do for one, You will do for another'? God! I am holding you to that list, if the year runs out without my answers, then You owe me big time!
        "Jesus! You said 'ask anything in my name, that would I do' I asked for rest, peace and deliverance". All my life, I have been struggling, day after day am in agony. Instead, I see my mates ahead of me. I see them enjoying and am here getting tossed around by life. Is this what I asked for? You have given stone for bread and a serpent for water? God! Are you now a man that you lie? Have you called me to play with me or crush my spirit? Have you seen me in a witch doctor's shrine? So why don't you answer me. God I am tired!
         Holy Spirit! Where are you? Isn't it written that 'You are my helper, that I wouldn't be left comfortless.' From the start of this year, have you helped me at all? Everything was by struggle, or are the forces of darkness stronger? Is there something bigger than God? Holy Spirit, tell God to prove Himself or else we are over! The year is coming to an end. I want my own testimony ummmh!
        "Is there no one that would worship me for who I am? Is there no one that loves me enough to trust me?" "Is there no one that would praise me?" "Is there no one that can give me what I cant give myself? Do they know how I fight for them and keep them from destruction?" Do they know how many times the devil has desired them but I say 'no'. Is this the thanks I get? "Where is the thanksgiving?"Where are the tokens of thanks? "Where is the incense of thanksgiving?" Where are my praises? Is there no one to thank me for my mercies, forgetting it is by my mercies they are not consumed? They only come when they need me, forget me when the road is smooth and get angry when I don't answer them when they want it, ignorant of the fact that I am preparing something greater! Oh my people perish because of lack of knowledge!"
         We sleep, we wake up, that is more than enough to be thankful. God may not come when you want Him to but He is always on time. "You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, You hold in your hands. You never left my side, though my heart is torn, I will  praise you in the storm"  A line from the song title Praise You In The Storm by Casting Crowns.
        Despite the situation, despite the trials, the waiting, pain and tears....Praise! When you learn to praise despite the 'despites' God will honour you.
         I dare you to say 'thank you God' everyday till the end of the year just for been alive. Change lanes; be thankful!

Blessed Tuesday!

            Good Morning World! happy weekend I hope, then glory be to God but if it was with trials and struggles, glory be to God still. You are alive and God is very much aware of the situation and will see you through, you just have to hold on and believe. Where there is life there is certainly hope my friends!
            For today, wanted to share a story I wrote for a regional short story competition, it wasn't picked so I just thought it okay to share it with you. The title of the story is "MO TI DELE"; its Yoruba, a Nigerian Language meaning  "I Have Gotten Home."
           I will really appreciate comments and feedbacks about this blog, although some friends have told me they had some issues posting comments. However, this is my email address smarrsh@gmail.com. Thanks and God bless!
           Enjoy!

                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Mo Ti Dele

          “Knock, knock, anybody there? “Ngozi said in a high pitched voice as she opens the door to my study. Her smile can light up a room full of darkness, her eyes as bright like shinning stars, her skin, like ebony with porcelain finesse. Her built is what the gods would be jealous of and most importantly a heart of gold. You see, Ngozi is my wife of three years and within this very short time of marital journey, I have been faced with one of the very hardest of challenges a newly married husband could ever face.

           It all started one late night evening; it was an unusually stormy weather that day, as if Mother Nature was trying to tell me of the storm that was really coming my way. Leaves were blown off their branches; some were plucked from their roots making makeshift road blocks which made driving a little bit difficult. It was definitely a sigh of relief when I got home. I opened the door, the lights to the living room were switched off which was odd been it was just some minutes past 7:30pm. I called out to my wife and silence was the only response. I began to get apprehensive but on careful observation, I heard sobbing and it was coming from the dinning room. As I got closer, it got louder and louder. It was coming from Ngozi; I called out to her in horror. “Ngozi! What is the matter?” but it seems as soon as she saw me, the sobbing turned into full blown crying. It seemed I was some kind of catalyst. “Ade please forgive me” she said as she fell on her knees. I was more confused than shocked. “Forgive you?” I muttered, still lost in comprehension. “Ade, please forgive me” she said it again, this time, it was more agonizing then the first “what are you taking about, Ngozi? I asked again. She placed her right hand over her mouth and her other hand on her stomach and bowed to the ground still on her knees as she wept.                                                                                      

               I stood motionless for about a minute just looking at her as she wept and groaned. I moved toward her, held her by her arms and shook her almost violently asking her to tell me what she was trying to tell me. That didn't  faze her, instead she cried even louder not from physical pain but from overwhelming guilt, I could see it in her eyes that something was horribly wrong. I held her close trying to console her but that did little to ease any pain she was feeling. Then all of a sudden, there was a moment of silence, which was now more worrisome because I wondered what was coming next. “I have sinned against you Ade” she said while I still held her close. “What did you do? “I asked her. “I think I slept with Sani” in a terrified voice.   

          “You think”? By this time, I had pulled away from her. “You think”? I asked her again. I literally started feeling dizzy. I pulled out a dinning chair and sat down, put my hands over my head and started sobbing.  For about five minutes, we were both sobbing, so many thoughts racing through my head; why is she telling me now? Does she want to own up because he is blackmailing her? Is it the guilt? Is Michael mine? Then I got up to my feet like a robot and asked her if I was the father of our son, Michael. To which she responded in a terrified tone “I do not know”.  “How could you do this to me, to us Ngozi?” I yelled as I tried to make sense of what was happening. My world was falling apart right before my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop the step wise crumbling. What did she mean by saying “she thought she slept with Sani?” Sani was my best friend, not only my best friend but my best man on my wedding day. He was more than a brother to me or that’s what I thought. She was looking confused almost trying to think up what to say, “I “, “I”,”I” she said. “Yes ““yes” I responded.   

            “Before anything leaves your mouth, be sure you are telling me the truth” I told her. She showed agreement by quick successions of nodes of the head. She explained that about 3 weeks prior to our wedding day, we had an argument. She went to meet Sani to talk some sense into me. In the process of narrating the whole story to him, she became emotional and he tried to comfort her. He offered her some alcohol and the next thing she knew was she woke up the next day in his bedroom.

         In total amazement, I looked at her and started walking towards the door wanting to run away as fast as I could “Daddy” Michael said, his word was like sending bolts of electricity down my spine because I just froze I didn't know he had been sitting on the stairs all this while. I turned and walked towards the stairs, as I reached the foot of the stairs, he stretched out his hands towards me wanting me to pick him up and I just stood there looking and wondering about everything I just heard my wife say. His expectation turned into disappointment as he returned his outstretched arms. Ngozi came from behind me, walked towards him and picked him up. As she took him up he kept on looking at me as they both faded into the darkness.                                                         

          I left the house, got into my car and just sat there sobbing like a baby. The storm was loosing its tempo so I just kept on driving with no idea where I was going to. I drove throughout the night, by morning I realized I was in the outskirts of the state in a remote town. My cell phone was out of coverage which was a relief; I just wanted time to myself. I had enough money to lodge in a local motel. When I got in, it was nothing fancy just the basic things needed to get through the day, a sharp contrast to the kind of life I have had the privilege to live all my life. I was blessed with well to do parents, nice cars, houses, vacations and never lacked for what money could buy.

            I laid down on the bed which was painfully soft and I managed to sleep but it was shorted lived as I was awoken by the shouts of a woman and the cry of a child. I managed to get up and looked out through the window, it seemed like the woman was beating the child for something wrong he did and from the stories she was telling onlookers, the ones who cared to stand and listen was that the money he brought back didn't correspond to the worth of goods she gave him to sell; a tray of ground nuts laid close by.  While she spoke, she gave him more slaps, I just shrieked and looked on. The child couldn't be more than nine years old and I wondered how much money this woman expects this child should bring from selling ground nuts that look so unappealing to the eyes. I returned back to bed thinking about my own life and all the blows it had received. I couldn't sleep through the night, I just tossed and turned and thought of Sani. I wondered how he could do this to me, I thought of killing him but how? I was filled with so much hatred and rage.

             When I woke up, I decided to take a walk just to clear my head. As I walked on, I saw a kiosk by the side a little distance away from the road so I decided to sit by it and have a drink of water. It wasn't up to ten minutes when I noticed a child with a tray of ground nuts walking by, as he hawked on the busy road side, a motorbike passed by so close by him that it brushed him and he fell into the gutter. Everything on that tray fell to the ground. The individual riding the motorcycle didn't even wait, he just sped off. The boy tried to help himself out of the gutter and he was visibly hurt. So I walked over and helped him out. “Uncle, thank you” he said with a cracked smile which soon turned to crying after he looked at the tray and the groundnut all over the floor and gutter. “Aunty will beat me” “aunty will beat me” he continually said. I then recalled this was the kid that received those series of slaps from a woman outside the motel I stayed. I tried to calm him down and took him to the kiosk, bought some water for him to wash up, some snacks and a bottle of alcohol to clean the wounds he sustained from the fall.

           “What is your name” I asked him. “Timothy, uncle” he said. “That was my father’s name; he died of malaria 2 years ago”. I am so sorry to hear that. “What about your mummy?” I asked. “I never knew her; daddy said she left when I was born”. So who do you live with? I asked. “My step mummy, I call her aunty because she said I shouldn't call her mummy” I felt a sense of sadness after asking all these questions because of the kind of answers I was getting but this little child didn't show any sign of sadness but strength and a certain optimism things will better from within that challenged me. “Do you still go to school?”  I asked because he spoke with good English not what I was expecting from a kid that sold ground nuts on a daily basis. “No uncle, I had to leave school so I can get more money, aunty said there was no money for me to go to school that I should leave so that there will be enough to send my siblings to school. The situation was just painful to my heart.

              This was a child without his parents, forced to drop out of school and sell ground nuts to carve out some kind of living. I felt a little bit embittered that a little boy has been through all this hardships in his life. I spent the better part of the day chatting with this little boy, I didn't even realize the time had sped through so quickly not until the kiosk owner said she wanted to close her shop.  It was time to go our separate ways, so I gave Timothy some money to cover for the ground nuts he had lost so he doesn't get a beating. His eyes sparkled with joy and relief. I told him I would like to see him the next day if he doesn't mind to which he eagerly gave a quick response.

          The next day, I took a stroll to the kiosk and I saw Timothy already waiting for me. I bought him bread and a drink because I knew he hadn't had breakfast. We spent the day talking, or me telling him stories that made him giggle so much that almost brought tears to my eyes. This is me all grown up learning so much about life from a little boy. The owner of the shop even dropped her own stories into our conversations now and then. For moments it looked like a perfectly awkward family which just made me smile yet masking the real hurt I carried around.

              While we were still talking, some students came by the shop to buy some snacks from the kiosk and I saw the sadness in Timothy’s eyes almost reminiscing on an opportunity he once had before he was made to drop out of school. One of the students approached Timothy to buy some ground nuts, he asked how much a cup of groundnut goes for, to which Timothy replied N50. The price seemed to aggravate the lad and he replied in broken English “because, you dey see us wear uniform, you think say we dey pluck money from tree.” Timothy replied in broken English too “if you no like the uniform, drop am na.”  ‘small boy I no be your mate, na groundnut you dey sell, which future you think say you get?” said the lad, Timothy then replied “e no mean say because you dey wear uniform now and I dey sell groundnut, your future better pass my own.” Hearing this, the lad charged at Timothy, threw the tray of ground nuts to the floor and blows were exchanged. I broke off the fight and ordered the students leave the area.  

            Timothy had a nose bleed, which I helped him clean it off, I asked him why he had to fight with the boy knowing he looked like a troublemaker? He replied that” sometimes, you don’t let anybody get away with insulting your very essence you defend it”. I was dumbfounded and just bent down to pick up the ground nuts. We just sat silent for the rest of the day and when evening came, we said our bye-byes and we left not before giving him some extra money. As I walked away thinking of how Sani insulted me, my wife and family, my essence as a man, a friend, a husband and a father and t seems I have let him get away with it so far. My thoughts were cut short by Timothy’s voice “uncle, I am sorry for fighting, will you come tomorrow?” I turned and saw him with the tray of groundnut on his head, with a smile and a gentle nod, I replied “yes, Timothy I will come tomorrow.” He smiled and walked away. I spent the night thinking about Ngozi, Michael, Timothy and Sani.

             It’s been a week and half since I left my home, no communication with my family and friends. I wondered what must be happening back at home; somehow, I kind of liked the state of the situation; maybe if my presence was scarce, they would see how important I am. In hindsight, that was very selfish of me. I knew everybody will be worried but somehow that didn't change my excitement about seeing Timothy the next day.

            I walked to the kiosk and there Timothy was waiting for me, this time I came with a newspaper and a pencil. He was excited to see me and I was too, bought him bread and a drink and we got talking. After he had his breakfast, I opened the crossword puzzle section, I taught him how to play the game and he was so interested. During the course of teaching him the game, “uncle are you married?” He asked pointing to my wedding ring. I paused for a second and told him yes I was. He sighed and I asked why, “you will soon leave me and this place” he said. I was a bit shocked but that was the truth, sooner or later I was going to leave him and that little town, return back to my life and face my own demons. I looked him in the eye as he eagerly waited for my own response “yes, I will but I can and I always come back and visit you.” He just sighed. I told him I had a little boy and that I missed him so much. “Why did you leave him then?” he asked. I had to think of an answer which I hadn't really asked myself. Why did I leave Michael? “don’t worry uncle if you don’t have answer now after all he is lucky to have you as a father, but don’t leave him alone for too long.” “Timothy you sound like a wise elder, do you know that? “ I said, he just smiled and continued playing the puzzle. I just watched him, smile as he read the cartoons, snack on the ground nuts which had been a usual practice, anyone who was interested to buy could buy and I wondered how I fell in love with this little boy in less than a month and it didn't matter to me if he wasn't my son.

              Evening came upon us, I bought him some snacks and gave him some money for the ground nuts. When I got to the hotel room, I was tempted to call home but I didn't, I felt it was a bit of punishment Ngozi deserved. I spent the night wondering what forgiveness was all about. I always heard that “forgiveness isn't for the other person but you”. Forgive Sani for raping my wife or my wife that went to find comfort in my friend’s hands and got raped in the process and hid a truth from me? It was a difficult pill to swallow, the very thought of Sani or the re-enactment of the scenario in my head filled me with intense anger.

        The next morning, I got the day’s newspaper and got to the kiosk but Timothy wasn't there, I didn't think it was odd maybe he had some errands to run. I waited for him for the whole day, hoping he would show up but he didn't show up. I asked the kiosk owner if she knew any information about his whereabouts and her response was “you have been talking to a child for days and you didn't think it necessary to ask for his address” that was rude but that didn't bother me, I just left. I walked to the motel just lost in thought, wondering what would have happened to him. 

             The next day, I walked back to the kiosk and waited but he still didn't show up. The kiosk owner saw the genuine worry on my face when I asked if she heard any news and she replied “no”. I gave her the phone number of the motel and begged her to call me if he showed up after which she stretched out her palms and demanded payment. I got back to the motel and asked the make shift shop owners around the area if they knew where the child that got beaten here some days ago lived. I didn't get any useful information but people seemed to know him as the “groundnut boy” but nobody could tell me where he lived or where he was.                    

               It’s been two days now and no sign of Timothy, I was worried and part of me was scared. I remembered just crying on the second night and asking God why things dear to my heart seemed to get ruined or taken from me? I prayed he would be fine wherever he was. On the 3rd day, I decided to try one more day of searching and if he didn't turn up or I didn't get any useful information about his whereabouts, I would leave. I walked to the kiosk again and hoped I would hear some bit of good news from the lady. She told me she didn't have anything useful, I turned away in disappointment and headed back to the motel. As I got to the building, a little boy ran up to me and said “are you looking for Timothy?” ”yes, I am” I replied. He told me to follow him, held my hands and led me down the road and through a narrow path. I got to a little community where houses where built with mud and thatched leaves for roofs and those that weren't locked in colonial times had outdated zinc for roofs. The little boy led me to a house, pointing he said “brother Timothy lives here”.

                 The house looked old and the zinc roof had visible holes in it. I walked up and knocked on the door. A woman came forward and said “who are you and who I was looking for?” in a harsh tone. I introduced myself and asked if Timothy lived there. With a look of suspicion mixed with surprise she said he did.  “Can I see him?” to which she replied “what for?” I was taken slightly aback to how rude she was but that didn't bother me since I was eager to see Timothy.  She didn't wait for a reply, she just said “follow me” I followed her in, the house looked a little untidy with four children seated around a bowl of rice. She led me to a room where I saw Timothy lying on a mat covered by a wrapper. He looked really sick and he was coughing a lot sometimes he coughed out blood. I was beyond horrified at the sight of the blood but it didn't seem to bother her, as she stood by the door just looking. I went over to hold Timothy and asked her why she hadn't taken him to a clinic. “Where is the money? “She replied. “What about drugs?” “Did you buy any?” To my utter surprise she said” you look rich, why don’t you take care of him yourself”. After saying this, she walked out of the room and I stood there looking at poor Timothy in so much discomfort.

                 I lifted him up, carried him out of the house and proceeded to my motel room. I laid him on the bed and packed up all my belongings. I called a rental agency instead of driving because I didn't think I was in a very good state to drive. When the car arrived, I begged the driver to take me to any reputable hospital close by. The ride away from that town was an emotional one for me, this was me running away from my own hurt and tossed into a different ball game entirely and praying this little, brave child wouldn't die in my arms.

          When we got to one, I carried Timothy in my arms, ran in and continuously screamed “HELP ME” with tears running down my cheeks. About two doctors and some attendants rushed to me and carried Timothy off my arms, took him to a room and from the look of things they were battling to save his life.  While I waited for news, I called our family doctor and begged him to come meet me at this hospital.  Like a sequence of orchestrated symphony, text messages from Ngozi started flooding into my phone. I managed to read about ten of them before I decided I wasn't going to any more and made up my mind to forgive her. I didn't know if I did it to bribe God as I prayed for the safety of Timothy.  About forty five minutes had passed, lifting up my head, I saw Tunji walking in. He came up to me and said” I am not going to ask you where you have been or why you left but what are you doing here?” he said. “There is a very sick child I brought in here and I wanted you to work with the doctors here to try and save his life”     

               While I was still trying to explain to Tunji, one of the doctors helping Timothy came to meet me. “How is he doctor?” “What is the matter?” I asked. “Severe pneumonia that had infected both lungs”. “Surviving this night will be a miracle” the doctor said. I practically felt my knees shaking. At this point I could hear Tunji introducing himself to the doctor and they both walked away talking.  Tunji came over and patted me on the back and told me to get up. I asked if I go and see him, with a nod, he agreed. I was led to the intensive unit of the Paediatric ward, to a room where I saw a little body connected to all sorts of machines, tubes and drips. I was afraid. I walked towards the bed and sat down beside him. He looked pale and even sicker. I held his hand that had a needle stuck inside and said a little prayer asking for a miracle.   

             As I sat there, I spoke to him about the little time we had together, what he taught me and how I want him to come stay with me. I don’t know if he heard what I said, but I spoke anyway. I have often heard about how people in comas can hear when spoken to. For a while, I was quiet, and then I told him “I loved him”. It was as if he smiled but I knew he gripped my hands as if to tell me it was aright, and then a quiet sigh, after which all hell broke loose, the monitor alarms went off, doctors and nurses rushing in. A nurse was ushering me out when I heard that dreaded long beep I always hear in Grey’s Anatomy episodes. In my head, I knew he was dead but in my heart, I hoped for a different result. Barely five minutes I entered the waiting room, Tunji entered and shook his head and said “I am sorry, he didn't make it” I sank into the chair and just wept like a baby. I told him to take me home, that I wanted to see my family.

            When I got home, it was about 3am in the morning, when I got to the front pouch before I could ring the door bell, Ngozi already opened the door. I came inside and started sobbing and begged her to forgive me. “You have done nothing wrong; it is I that needs your forgiveness.” “I forgive you Ngozi, I forgive you.” “I am sorry for walking out on you and Michael, I am sorry for not calling you, I am sorry for not being there as a husband, a friend for you when you needed me most.” My legs had become too weak to support my own weight, I fell on my knees and Ngozi went with me. We just sobbed and wept together then I kissed her and told her I wanted to see my son. We walked up the stairs together and opened the door to Michael’s room and there he was sleeping as peaceful as ever.

               In the days that went by, I told Ngozi about Timothy and everything I had been through. She suggested we start a charity to honour him to help less privileged children through secondary school and link them with other scholarships that will help them continue to the tertiary level and I thought it was a brilliant idea. I also confronted Sani and gave him some choice word about friendship and family and wasn't in my presence and family.

         So this is my heart felt story, my marriage was saved from the lessons of a child. I have gotten home. My Timothy forever in my heart always. I love you